There is a famous saying in life that you must practice what you preach. I preach a lot on this blog – much of it insights gained from sweating it out on the yoga mat, battling it out in the office or sitting on the couch deep in meditation. Yet, when it came to one of the biggest decisions I had to make recently, I was doing anything but what I preached.
Why? Because I was hopelessly attached to my surroundings, my comfort zone, my freedom. At the same time, I was scared for the future – crippled, sabotaged and chained to the floor, totally gripped by fear. I was the antithesis of being mindful, a practice close to my heart.
I struggled to come to a decision – I explained my dilemma to several people and asked for their opinions – which contradicted each other and reflected their personal experience, of course, leaving me even more confused. Despite knowing from personal experience and the teachings of the masters that “the answer lies within you, all it takes is to create silence within to hear your inner voice”, in this case, I was really ambivalent. Listen to your heart? Really? Is it as simple as that?
I think the ego has a lot to answer for here – constantly criticising, internalising a deluded sense of self (I am this, my that…) questioning every move you make; and then bang – after building you up it brings the whole house of cards crashing down, when you least expect it.
In the coaching world, they go on about there being no failure, only “feedback”. Failure is to be expected after all in this game of life we play. Perhaps I would play my cards differently next time, only time will tell. But at least I’m now more experienced.
Having said that, when it comes to decision-making that is life changing, it’s little wonder that we get so attached to what we know, what we love, what we VALUE. Is this decision really right for me? Sometimes you can’t put a price on what you have – no matter how tempting it may be.
In times of need, it takes a strong heart, a strong mind and not least, a strong desire to succeed. So, no preaching today folks – I am human after all, and not quite enlightened, just yet. 😉